The Daily Douz

So I just had a dinner date with two of my very best friends. I don’t FULLY realize how much I miss people until I’m there with them hanging out again! That’s so stupid! I need to embrace the moments I get to spend along the way, not take them for granted!! Man, time flies. We ended up staying there about an extra hour just catching up on each other’s lives! I think we got more evil stares from the waitress than pennies loose in my purse! LOL! (There were plenty of other tables available, ma’am.) Anyway, life comes at you fast, when you least expect it, I guess. Both of my close friends have either gone through or are going to go through huge milestones in their lives, getting married!!, and it’s amazing to think back to just like 8 months ago when we were all carefree, single, loving life living together and checking out those hot boys we always spotted. I can’t even believe it - I’ve lived in this stinkin cold basement for like 5 months now! I mean, that’s crazy! I remember moving in and telling my parents, I gotta at least stick this out for a month. Just to try it out. And it’s been 5? Wow.

Anyway, it’s good to have people in your life who care about you. When they currently aren’t available or if you yourself are unintentionally “pushing” them away, life SUCKS and you think you’re all alone, that there’s no one in the entire world who cares about you at some points in time. And it’s these times, when I go home to family for vacation, when I meet with my long lost friends whom I love dearly, this is when I can see - right through my own dang eyes! - that there ARE people who care about me and who may have been thinking about me in those lonely moments but I myself refuse to believe that because I don’t think so highly of myself. Wow, just wow. I’m overwhelmed I guess. I don’t realize how much fun, life, and love that friends bring to your life, until it’s gone for a while and I’m missing it. And yeah, those awkward times can be VERY awkward, but in the end - IT’S WORTH IT, duh!!! Even I can admit that. Ga’ak!

Now that this sounds very much like a journal entry, I’ll cut and end it. Sorry for rambling but thanks for reading if ya did. I don’t post all that often on this here blog, but when I do, it has to have been something special for me to write about it, am I right??? Lol! Okay, enough, Marci! Dang it, shut your mouth-I MEAN stop typing!!! K, later homies. Special shout out to my really good friends who I went to dinner with tonight, you girls have really got it goin on!!!

(As originally coined by the one and only Gwen) - Love.Angel.Music.Baby

yay for closure. this might be overdue, but i finally feel like i got the closure i needed from an ex-boyfriend, recently. he got engaged and now i know it’s completely over, and i’ve come to terms with it and i’m fine. i’m actually happier, to be honest. (not to put him down or anything.) i don’t have that lingering stupid hope anymore that maybe, just maybe, he’ll come back. it really is a relief in a way. i was shocked when i found out the news though since they’ve only been dating a little over 2 months but if it’s right, it’s right.

i haven’t posted anything in a long time and people are probably wondering if i’m still alive. haha, yes i am. i’m just working and doing the normal things. work consumes my life. oh, i got a new cell phone, that was really exciting! but the manual came in russian and i don’t speak it, so that’s a little frustrating. lol. but i found it in english online. i went to arizona for my thanksgiving holiday and had a blast with my family! i love spending time with family, i don’t realize how much i miss them till i’m there with them, and how i want to stay even longer. none of my immediate family lives in utah around me so that’s been kinda hard. it’s ok, it just means i get to get out of utah when i visit family, right?

so i’ve realized this blog has more or less become a personal journal for me, but PUBLIC. HAHA! It’s probably not to my advantage to have a site as a journal like this but it’s an outlet, what can i say? I don’t live with anyone so it’s almost like my need to vent can be used through this, if that makes sense at all. and then i can post other cool things i like on here too. and it’s just fun to have people read my stuff and think that people care to spend time to read it. (i really think that’s the real reason i have this blog.) it’s to see if people care about me. i mean, i know my family cares. that’s a given. i dunno, it’s my own twisted thinking, that’s all. okay enough rambling. this post was supposed to be about how great the closure was for me, so i’ll end on that subject. it’s liberating to know finally for sure that i will never get back together with that ex-boyfriend, and i’m okay with it! it’s almost like when i break up, i’m still hoping, or wondering if we’ll get back together. it’s like i can’t fully let that person go. but i’ve come to find out that i absolutely hate letting people go out of my life. so maybe that’s a reason why. i care about people so much that it’s soo hard on me when i have to let them go. even just a friend, ya know? well tonight i shall get to bed early so i can test the theory of waking up earlier in the mornings if you go to bed early at night. this IS early for me (10:15 pm). goodnight, hopefully…